I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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