Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize