Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just made out with a guy for $7.

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(469): View more from Texas

Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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(518): View more from New York

I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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(703): View more from Virginia

We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

(540): View more from Virginia

You guys make me sad

(703): View more from Virginia

You misspelled jealous there

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(317): View more from Indiana

I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You? On what? Why?

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