problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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