Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
