how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
