When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
