I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We got so high we made milksteak
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
