We got so high we made milksteak
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
