I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
