pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
