Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sorry about my life...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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