Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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