I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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