Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
