was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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