Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
