Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize