that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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