Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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