even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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