Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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