Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
