dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
