I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
