Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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