She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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