Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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