Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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