no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
