Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
