I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
