she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
