problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
third nipple confirmed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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