I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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