Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize