She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
