I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize