Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
