How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
