The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
