i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
