Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
