You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
