didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Boobs are out for the taking
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
