I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
where am i from again
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
