I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
