Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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