hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
