Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
