his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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