definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
