I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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