Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
