It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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