I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
