I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
