i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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