At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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