Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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