Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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